I am being pressured to get engaged or to commit
I am being pressured to get engaged or to commit.
I have known this girl since a (very) long time. She moved away to another country when she was 18 and we kept in touch online. As we were chatting online, things started to develop and we would spend more and more time together as a couple when she would visit. I have since moved to another country and coincidence makes it so that she moved here too. We been together for about two years now. I am 26, Thomas Sabo Charms Horse Head she is 27. she is my first true love and long term relationship and I do care a lot about her.
Now comes the problem (since there always one):
About one year ago, the subject of marriage and spending the rest of our lives together sprung up. I was very clear with her and told her that I am not intending to get married soon since I have to focus on my career first before I consider settling down. I also told her that I am very happy with her and would like things to remain as they are.
It was all fine. until she brought up the engagement subject again and again and again. I kept pushing it off with the same argument: I need to settle down professionally before I consider settling down in a relationship. Thomas Sabo Charms Black Lizard Pendant I also stressed that I loved her and it was never a question not being sure about Pandora Alphabet Bead Letter D Silver committing to her but more of a personal question of if i am ready to commit now in my life?
I am currently working to change countries yet again in order to go back studying in order to land better professional opportunities and make a very important career switch. I need about 6 months to be sure Pandora Alphabet Bead Letter D Silver is this plan.
Lately, she has been bringing this subject over and over again and talking about letting me go because I cannot decide. My position is that I need to keep this subject out those 6 months so I know for sure where I will be. I will then discuss this matter seriously and settle it once and for all.
I feel like I am basically being pressured. and if she really wanted me, she would much more considerate than forcing someone to get married. I am frankly surprised at this side of her and I cannot take it anymore. I have been very patient containing things and Pandora Murano Glass Bead 197 being more positive but it seems that this does not help.
I also feel she is being insensitive to my situation. She Pandora Alphabet Bead Letter D Silver feels that I am forcing her to adapt to my situation. She is "tempted about waiting 6 months" (her words, "tempted") in order to settle this but she is not even sure that she will wait.
I do not like her approach about this subject and I consider it to be unintelligent. This now how you approach someone you love and want to commit to. I feel like she is choosing a sperm donor (me).
Which makes me think that:
she wants to fill a spot in her life plan. getting married before 30.
There is someone else that might be more suitable for her. So she is dropping the full pressure now on me to settle Pandora Alphabet Bead Letter D Silver this in order to move on to something else if it doesn work out.
she a selfish and possessive person
Do I end it? Help me break the love bubble and think more rationally.
edit: I have read all your comment and I thank you all so dearly. The advice you have all given me is balanced and useful.
I have discussed things long Pandora Alphabet Bead Letter D Silver with her and we basically arrived to two choices.
1 We can still be together and turn a new page: I have appeased her insecurities about me not seeing us together (I don want to be a commitement phobe). I told her I would do anything for her and that I would just need to be settled on this project so I cannot decide before this is done but that i would love to work things out between us. Settling with her was not out of the question but I cannot do it this year. She would get an official commitment from me in 6 months. It would take me about two more years to get finally married because it is important we are financially secure.